I still struggle with it sometimes. I associate it with that little kid that I used to be and I hated that kid.
But it's my name. And I am starting to understand God's love for me. And that helps me to understand that I have gifts and abilities that are not worthless and that maybe I have something to offer.
But in the last few years, I've taken a beating. It is interesting to separate myself and analyze my feelings on it. On the one hand, everything I hated about myself and felt deep shame over were used to tear me apart publicly. I'm weird. I don't often know what to say. I try to say something and end up sounding foolish.
But on the other hand, I've had to face up to those things and quit burying them deep inside out of fear. And I realized something. This is me and this is my name. I have sin that invades every part of me like a cancer, but God's power and grace are far greater than that sin and I will stand before him completely whole one day.
But then there is me. I like weird socks and Floyd Cramer and staggeringly effective shirts. I sometimes stare at someone trying to figure out what they are saying to me. I hate the phone and like video chatting much better. I talk about sex and family and marriage and deal with subjects that other people don't want to talk about. And most of all I talk about Jesus and what it means to rest and to live and to grow. And I am learning about that myself.
And all of my quirks and personalities are exactly how God made me and I know he has a place for me.
And so, here's a new beginning. I thought through a lot of different things and different names. But I landed on simply using my name. I'm trying to like it, just like I'm trying to like me.
So welcome to Sam Powell Ministries - It is a work in progress, like me.
I am beginning to breathe, my new home in Minnesota is a wonderful gift of God. I have regular employment which I love.
And I still love to tell people about Jesus.
My writings and my podcasts are free. I lead an online Bible study each week.
And I also do consultations, if you would like to book an appointment, we can talk.
Maybe the Lord will use my gifts and my name to be a comfort to his people.
Let's go and meet Jesus outside the camp together.
Wouldn't that be fabulous?